I am longing to understand how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other. Being a wallflower is very strange, in that, you see what most people don't and you learn to keep quiet about them. That's why everyone likes you and smiles at you because they know that it is you they seek to impress. So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but maybe it's good to put things in perspective. But sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Well fuck, not everyone has a sob story and even if they do it's no excuse. Things change, and friends leave and don't give a damn anymore, and life doesn't stop for anyone. I really don't know, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. Sorry, I've been ranting a lot over the past few days.
Just bare with me, alright? I'll get through it.
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