Higher

Get out

Get bent

Get wrecked

Get beat

Get cunt 

Get free

Into that stream 

Into this dream 

I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind

To finally be in love
And know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship
not based on ownership.

Inspire me to be the higher me
Make my desire pure.

Ex-Factor

Love is so fickle.
It starts with a flood
And ends with a tricktricktricktricktrick-trickle.
Trickle.
Trickle.
Trick-le.

My Love, Unknown

There's something Un-holy
About the beautiful lies
And water-colored memories clenched in my fists.
A Golden, Sweet, Honey-ed Tongue Man whispers unadulterated words into my ears.
What do I believe?
How does my heart behave?
I'll just put my hands into my head
And warm my toes with my tears.
I've been meaning to drown in your chaos.

Mystery of Love

Life is too short to pretend that we don't care about people.
Most of the time, it's too easy to just bury each other under the rocks of indifference.
Everyone needs love.
We all need someone. 

Snow falls

Imagine all of the people in your life melting away. Picture yourself alone with the quiet night and fragrant pine, and the desolate cold, hard earth for company.

Do you feel empty & afraid or filled to the brim with wonder & warmth?

The most satisfying feeling is being alone with oneself and realizing that you could not be happier with anyone else. A grateful heart and a beautiful soul make everything better. 

I have loved you for the last time

The chasm between space and time collects the pain of all past love. 

Out of Sight, 

Out of Mind,

Non-Existence,

Exists.

Quelqu'un m'a dit...

It takes strength to be gentle and kind.

Please, don't forget about me. 

My heart often swells with a sweet, delicious substance that can quench fires that are lit for eternity. This blessing can grow heavy when it is not regularly poured off. I wonder if this is a dangerous state to remain in for an extended time. It compels me to, sometimes, pour this precious gift in to individuals who most certainly do not deserve it. Or perhaps they do deserve it, but not because of their feelings or actions towards me. I suppose that that it isn't necessarily bad. It's unselfish. But, there is often security in selfishness. One can't get hurt if they are motivated by selfishness. So, which is better? Security or vulnerability? Perhaps, it is security sometimes and vulnerability at other times. But, the hardest part is deciding at which times one should deploy these two dichotomous states of being. I wish to be more self-aware. I wish to make the right choices. It hurts sometimes. 

That is That & This is This.

I had to think a while. 

The Hardest Part

When you miss someone, it can feel as if the world is caving in, one grain of sand at a time.
But, perhaps, the most tragic notion of all... is that you'll never know your world as complete again, after the first grain falls. Do you start to wonder if you made the right choice? Have you ever felt a thing so deeply, in your soul, but not understand it completely? But, you act anyway without a moment to waste because you know that you can't live one more second with yourself otherwise? Is it fair? Can it ever be just? Perhaps, not. Not until someone else takes up the place that feels like a big gaping hole in your heart. You live with your mistakes until you're proven right. That's the hardest part. 

Are You Happy?

Is happiness found? Can it be lost? 

How do you know if you have it? 

All Apologies

A moment lost & a time forgotten.

Sounds crash against the roof of my mouth.
Utterances & groanings that have no beginning.
Lost in the expanse of The ForNever.

My lips are small and they part only for you.
You, wide-eyed child, you.
Speak your truth
As I fall back into place. 

I Summon You To Appear

Oh, where are you tonight?
The tingling in my fingers tell me that you're alright.
I know every way to say your name.
I know every sound it can make.
If you knew the things that spill out of my hands here, would you see things differently?
Would you picture my face when you think of the perfect woman?

These flightless worries and restless words haunt the spectre of who I used to be.

Always a Woman

She'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden.
Then she'll carelessly cut you & laugh while you're bleeding.
But she'll bring out the best & the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself because she's always a woman to me.

Now, they always say, "Congratulations."

When I think about how far I've come,

I wonder if the stars were aligned for me.
Or, did I fight destiny to rest here?

Either way, a lot of people didn't think that I had greatness in me. 

I always just laughed sweetly with my head down and thought, "Watch me & eat shit."

Turn other people's underestimation of what you can do into your greatest weapon.
Just, blow them all the fuck away with your grace and grit.
Then when you die, you'll die with a closed-lipped smile on your face and your middle fingers extended for eternity.  

There's always someone, somewhere, with a big nose who knows.

You ease my mind.

Ige tth ose goo sebu mps every time.
Lucky you, but... wait for it.
Drink this tea and mind my hips.

Hold Tight

I can almost always be found within the tiny schism between amusement and despair.
I think especially here.

Previously, I viewed this state as inconsistent and uncomfortable. But now, maybe I'm reconsidering that idea. Perhaps, it's the restlessness in my soul that keeps me wedged between these two emotions. Restlessness is not uninteresting. It's actually a pool of overly saturated colors and mellow guitar riffs. Tonight, I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize what I saw there. I thought to myself, what happened to the girl who felt so much and found every thought that entered her head fascinating and original? Even if that wasn't really true, that perspective really turns me on. Somewhere along the way, I threw off my cloak of authenticity and traded it in for something a lot more sober.  I wonder if that's something that inevitably happens to people that life really just knocks the shit out of at some point.

If that's true, it makes me cringe. This life is a lot like love. It can cover over the things that you once thought were so important and objective. It dresses them up like a lovely, young person. Happy, blissful even. Like walking on a cloud. Or through a fog. 

Things Ain’t How They Used To Be

Temptation.
it’s about Time, You See. 

The Only Thing...

It's time to move on, now. You are strong-willed and destined for greatness.

Lay him to rest in the dust. 

Thunder Road

I've had a few heartbreaks since we last met.
More pieces than I can count.
But, I'm mending.
Healing, Learning, and Loving.


Show a little faith, there's magic in the night.
You ain't a beauty, but, hey you're alright. 

Out of suffering, have emerged the strongest souls

Compassion.

The most human form of divinity.

No one belongs here more than you.

I'm worried I'll forget your face.

Ha, Fah, Boom, Bah.

Betrayal, the willful slaughter of hope.
Artful passion will lead us all to the impressionable Abyss of Martyrdom. From that dark chasm, one should hear the groanings of ephemeral lovers; their twisted arms clinging to the earthy walls, fingers entwined and legs in amplexus. Naught that we shouldn't also hear the soft whisper of warning from the water lingering at the bottom of that deep tomb. So, you shall sit in that silence. The trepidation within your heart will help you swallow at night and breathe during the day. You'll be gone by the first morning light.

Soft Shock

It's getting colder outside.
Maybe I just imagined it all along.
What's the time, What's the day?

The Book of Love

Chagrin... the darkest shade of the word. Eyes are darkened and lips are flushed with colour. Not a one to appreciate the romance that winter has to offer in the face of a woman with a warm embrace.

Canals of Our City

Oh, to kiss the palms of His hands just to know where He's been.

That is the love that I strive for.

Keen vision

I don't want to be someone that you run from. I'm happy for you... that you found the One. Who knew she was just lurking in the space between your lips and your nose. I want to be remembered in a happy way. You have a little one now. I know that you really love her. You'd want her to know your love. She loves you. And the One, she loves you. I know she does. She needs you. Is that the kind of love that we're all striving for? Is that it? Happiness. It gives way to grief. You must be a better man. And I- I only fit into one place... that place I haven't found yet. I haven't found my place yet. You're where you should be. With your family, that you love, and that loves you back. I know now what I couldn't give to you. Aren't you happy that I let you go? Or did your plans change? Did you know that this is what you needed? It seems so obvious to me now. Is there just so much hurt in your heart? She said... You once said that it doesn't matter anymore. And yet, here I am pouring my hurt into a notecard or two. It matters to me. It means a lot to me. But, these days, everyone seems to think that I've got it all wrong. That I try at all of the wrong things. You probably feel the same way. I shouldn't try to talk to you or try to see you. You wouldn't approve of it. You'd run or get angry or both. It wouldn't make any difference to you. I think I just miss you. But, you're already at home.

We are all special cases.

We are, all of us, made of the same carbon-based decaying matter that returns to the dust upon which we stand each day. And yet, each phrase uttered upon the earth will circle around the world until there is no place left without a sound or the mark of a faint whisper. We fill the air with thoughts, thoughts not original but borne of different times. And what if the kind words we say run into the terrible words of others... Do they stop, remove their clothes and say, "Good morning" or ask, "Where are you coming from...?" "Can we be friends if I promise to love you for what you are?" I know it's too late... I should've given you a reason to stay.

Reality Sandwiches

You crazy bluey-eyed bastard, East my dust...

The darkness of a new beginning

The stark and cold emptiness
that runs
before a bursting forth..
Like a river full and swelling with ice and clarity.

Caring is Creepy

It shakes my pretty little clavicle.

Put me under a microscope

There are things that are made for pleasure and others made for function.

Me? Function..

You look like you could use a hug

The best part about being alone is being alone.

Woman, you see, is an object of such a kind that study her as much as you will, she is always quite new

"Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges and beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking."

May all directions be our allies

The Laws that bind us to this earth, keep our hearts in our chests and our minds in our skulls. Knowledge of others and absolute truths is called intelligence; knowledge of ourselves, true wisdom. And yet, I find myself unable to grasp the essential knowledge of aspirational vs. realistic ideals. Patellas are broken and bellies are bleeding. Colors are relevent, lips are blue and hearts are broken.

lemondrops & gumdrops

The grayest cloud above my head sings of interment and plasticity.

FOLLOW YOUR INNER MOONLIGHT; DON'T FIGHT THE MADNESS

"...no girl had ever moved me with a story of spiritual suffering and so beautifully her soul, showing out radiant as an angel wandering in hell and the hell and the selfsame streets I'd roamed in watching, watching for someone just like her and never dreaming the darkness and the mystery and eventuality of our meeting in eternity."

My heart eats beets.

Steak for chicken

Maybe I was right.

You've got blood in your viens

Language is a veritable manifestation of limited expression. The spoken word diminishes that which lies unexpressed within us, and yet its power is felt through the exquisite horror of reality and permanence. We cannot retrieve the words that we send out into the ether that collide with the minds of others. Instead, we are bound and ruled by the continuity of language. There are feelings, thoughts, energies, and emotions within our hearts and minds that should not and cannot be uttered in the form of words or sounds. And yet, we must keep trying to convey that which lies dormant and intense within us. But how? Where words fail, what succeeds in bringing truth and understanding between two souls longing for closeness? A meaningful look, perhaps? A gentle brush of feathery fingers against ardent skin? How can we, as humans, kindle a light in the mere darkness of a world filled with excessive and selfish individuality that denies all connection to the souls of others?

Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk

Everything it seems that I like's a little bit sweeter and a little bit harmful for me. Indulgence gets us into a lot of trouble these days. But whether it is debauchery or depravity, we all get lost within its thick sticky skunk. But I'd rather we feel warm, and heavy rather than cold and thin. I just want to know if what I feel is a symptom of paranoia or intrinsic incrimination. I have a fascination with people. Mindless, uncouth people. They never rip or scream, or send utterances of maniacal phrases out of car roofs or chimney tunnels into the Great Expanse. I find it most peculiar that these people only suck mounds of oxygen into their lungs and blow out streams of carbon dioxide into the ether. They gargle with peroxide, and put steaks on their black eyes. .

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like a hard-hearted enthusiast

I am ill-equipped.
I cannot win the hearts of those that I love. I cannot win admiration, or fond farewells. I cannot win a ukulele. I cannot win. And it is dismally dull. And to that one for which I hold onto foolish notions and unfortunate familiarity: All I want is the best for our lives. I want you happy, and light. And what of those days when we sat in beautiful silence? Well , I'll just cast those off with an appropriate cemetary smile, and hope that somewhere you are counting ants on trees, and ice in glass. There is a light, and it never goes out.. but it is sometimes forgotten.

It's really bursting at the seams, absorbing everything.

Metamorphosis. (YOUTH)


It is a continuous change, a tearing off of one's own skin to make way for a different self. Are we indifferent to our suffering, or do we take pride in this violent transformation. Our figurative bodies, flayed and bloodied, cry out for something more than it's boundaries. Is it so strange, that we should want to shred, break, tear, grind, strip, and stab? The light within us is mutinous. It must get out.

Evaporar

The best in life is saved for the better versions of ourselves. Do you ever feel that way? Is there an answer to the bitter and hallow places within hearts, and minds, and toes? I sometimes wish I'd try to find them, or look for them in the dark boroughs hidden around the house, or in the closet space. But it's dark in there, and the clouds give no way for re imagining the way things should've been. We have no sense of time or space, or time travel anymore. Isn't that a shame? We could all just disappear one day. And reappear as burnt, inconsequential dust. howinteresting,howenigmatic,howl .

O

I'm just waiting to start again.

When you are engulfed in flames

It's a bitter pill to swallow, knowing when to leave. But, people always leave, and memories remain untouched. That's how it needs to be now. If we have nothing real anymore, I'd rather remember us as we were, once. We've both changed. I think you're happier, more evolved now. And I- I am engulfed in the same pain we once bonded over. Isn't that ironic? You came to me with your bad dreams and your fears, and I gladly held you and shared in your pain. But I knew how to live above it. I knew how to live without that pain, and how to put it on just to relate to you. And now, through streams of moving thought and humane conversations, it has consumed me, and determined the strange course that I am now lost and wandering through. I should've looked for the warning signs, and silent transfer of spirits. I value this pain now. I value it, and live in it. And I feel more alone than ever.

Necessity is the mother of invention

If there ever was a natural way to adapt, and to change, I'd like to think that we'd have found it. I don't think its the strongest, or the most intellegent that survive. It's the ones who are most adaptable to change. The agonizing metamorphic process that each and everyone of us experience must endure. As we mature, and experience life, our eyes focus on the things that we once glanced over. Although ignorance most often begets confidence, I've been thinking that maybe its better to be knowledgable and yet uncertain. Sometimes skulls are thick, and hearts are vacant, and words just don't work.

Googolplex and Heavy Boots

One, and infinte zeroes.

She just smiled and read a book, and gave him such a gentle glance.
Such a look, he thought, could make a man fall flat on the floor without a sound.
He felt a rough pain run through his chest, only to see love oozing from his sweater vest.
She watched him toss, and turn, and wipe the love right off with his sleeve.
She wondered if he knew she was made to love magic.

I live a life of measure and ambiguity. That's probably not strange to hear. And I'm just a little person renacting the simple, trivial happenstances of human existence, all the while feeling insignificant, and foolish, and genius, but endearing and quite sincere. I wish I could've known my grandfathers. I'm missing something that I've never seen inside of me before, and I know it's them. Their empty eye sockets staring through my nose. I can feel their hands skimming the top of my head as they walk past, and I hear their whispers in my ears, so silent and grey. I wish I could've known them.

Two Pianos

We have different places.

Naked as we came

Honest, It feels a lot better this time.